Therapeutic Influences

Attachment Theory

Understanding how our earliest relationships shape the way we relate to ourselves, others, and the world around us throughout our lives.

What is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, offers a way of understanding how our early relationships with caregivers shape our emotional development. In childhood, we develop internal working models — a set of beliefs and expectations about whether we are lovable, whether others are reliable and whether the world is safe.

These patterns often operate beneath our conscious awareness, yet they can profoundly influence our adult relationships, how we manage difficult emotions and how we cope with stress, change, or loss.

Common attachment patterns include:

Secure attachment — a sense of safety in relationships, able to depend on others while also feeling comfortable alone.
Anxious attachment — heightened vigilance for signs of rejection or abandonment, difficulty trusting that relationships are stable.
Avoidant attachment — learned self-reliance, discomfort with closeness or depending on others.
Disorganised attachment — often linked to inconsistent or frightening early experiences, leaving us without a coherent strategy for relating to others.

How I use this in my practice

Attachment theory sits at the heart of much of my work. Understanding your attachment history can help make sense of patterns you may find yourself repeating — in romantic relationships, friendships, at work or even in how you relate to yourself.

We might explore together:

Early experiences with caregivers and what you learned about love, safety and reliability from them
How you currently relate in close relationships — what feels easy and what feels difficult
The beliefs you hold about your own worthiness of care and connection
How you respond to intimacy, separation, conflict or loss

The therapeutic relationship itself can also become a meaningful space — a consistent, attuned connection that offers an experience of being genuinely heard and responded to, which can support new ways of relating over time.

Ready to explore this together?

If you recognise some of these patterns in yourself and would like to understand them better, I would be glad to hear from you. I offer a free initial consultation with no commitment.

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